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Love at First Sight

Seriously? We’re going to talk about this topic? Isn’t it just a myth?

Yes. Yes, we are. Because here I am in a loving relationship after having fallen in love at first sight with my second husband Cung. Yup, after everything I’ve been through, I gave love another shot, proposed (!), and here we are. He doesn’t believe in it, though. He had his own set of experiences.

Let’s rewind.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever fallen in love at first sight? Did it go well for you? I’ll bet the answer is no. The several times that I have fallen in love, at first sight, didn’t go well for me. Looking back here are the reasons why.

Love-at-First-Sight Failures

  1. I didn’t take a realistic assessment of how possible the relationship was. It was long-distance involving oceans and miles and miles of flying and different time zones and altogether too much of a hassle. The stress of the situation piled up to the stress of everything else. The bonds did not manage to solidify, not with half the globe standing in between.
  2. I wasn’t really sure of what I wanted for myself. Did I want to focus on a career? Did I want to build a family – get married quickly and have kids? Or did I want to get rich? I wasn’t quite clear on my own goals and because of that, the roller-coaster of hormones made everything even more mixed up.
  3. I wasn’t aware of my own strengths and weaknesses. Many people have told me that I am charming. This is a great asset, but it can really backfire on me if I don’t know when and where to hold back, or when to press forward. What I’m saying is, I have been as much at fault at making other people fall in love at first sight with me, even though I was not ready to follow through!

I guess what I’m saying is it takes a lot more than one look to make love work. It often takes painful (or sometimes just dumb) experiences, but what’s important is that you learn a little bit more about yourself each time, so the next time the stars align and love hits, you will know how to deal with it.

What are your experiences with love at first sight? For some extra fun reading on physical reactions of love at first sight, check out this article.

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