Here we go, another one of my #metoo stories. It makes me so angry, and yet by this time I’m so calloused to it. Isn’t it horrible? This time, I was groped at work. Well, my kind of work which is fundraising for the arts.
I was having a dinner meeting with a well-known patron of the arts in Jakarta. I presented a proposal on behalf of the Bandung Philharmonic, and he was talking about a festival he was interested to fund. After dinner, he offered me a ride back to where I was staying in Jakarta (in an artist residence in the well-known Senopati area). I agreed.
Inside the car, he sat in front next to the driver, and I sat in the back. There was a traffic jam, so what should have been a 5-minute ride turned out to be a nightmare 25-minute ride. It was a nightmare because, during the ride, he leaned his arm back and groped my thighs. I couldn’t believe it. I pushed his hand away. He put his hand back with more force. I pushed it away again. I almost considered getting out of the car right then and there, which I should have done. Why the HELL was the driver silent in all of this?
Of course, he was the enabler. There is always the silent enabler, scared of the power the perpetrator holds over him or her.
I stayed in the car, and he did not grope me anymore. But when he dropped me off in front of the artist residency, he tried to kiss me right then and there. I moved away from him, panicked that he would try anything further on the street. I wondered why the satpam took so long in opening the door.
He said, “Look, how about a threesome then?” and rattled off some huge name artists in Jakarta that he would invite to have a threesome with me. I was so upset. Luckily the satpam came out then and opened the door. I hurried inside.
The next day I directly told some other important patrons, so there would be witnesses if I ever decided to report. Who am I kidding? I know he is too powerful for me to take down without proper evidence. Fine. But I have my cards. And I will always keep them for when the time is right-when the ground swells with all the other women I know he has harassed.
When that time comes, I’ll be playing my cards for sure.
